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It's not called L.I.F.E when there are no problems.

Sin can happen to anyone just like how illness can strike anybody too.
The moment when one major illness strikes you, can you remain as optimistic as how you used to be?
It's easy to say "ohh, everything will be fine and that you have to be positive and face this problem you have."
But in actual fact, only the minority can remain optimistic.
At that point of time when you realise you have no time left, the way you think and act will change. A positive change.
But when you are cured of your illness, and that you still have a lot of time left, will you revert back to your old ways?
Sometimes I really hope to face everyday just like it's my last day living on this earth.

Sin.

I went for cell yesterday. Ps PL went overseas so Angela lead the cell for ytd.
The approach she used was different and I find that ytd's topic was kinda meaningful.
Hmmm, ytd she asked us to draw out what is S.I.N.
I drew a small dot on a piece of white paper, then Charissa drew a scrabble kind of picture with all the different sins connected to each other. Then Angela drew 2 magnets resisting/repelling each other. (man/God). Florence drew a sad face, Jesselyn drew satan hiding behind a door & lastly, Karina drew a computer which refers to addiction I think.
I find that Charissa's picture made a lot of sense when Angela explained it. Angela explained it as sins are interconnected. When you commit one sin, you are actually opening a small part of your heart to satan. Then slowly you will start to sin more and more because one sin leads to another. Satan is always waiting to attack us 24/7, so we must always be on our guard.
Then lastly, we ended with prayers for one another to like stop sinning. Then I told Karina that I've not been setting my eyes on God. Like I've been entertaining thoughts which I shouldn't have. Then she's funny lahhh...instead of praying for me to set my eyes on God, she pray that may God show me the right person! =x

Word for Women.

Signed up for SOL 1 already. The first session is on the day of my first paper.
Kinda looking forward to the lessons cos it's about Family & Relationships. I believe I will be richly blessed by God's Word. (:
Yes! Another step closer to knowing what's God's plan for me. =D
I might still be harboring some thoughts...it is not easy trying to forget the past whenever it pops up in my mind. Still in the process of trying to delete those thoughts. >< !
But I believe if I'm willing to obey His word, and listen to Him, I don't have to go through those unnecessary pain. (:
Anws, I copied and pasted this short part from Flor's blog. It's adapted from Lady in Waiting, a book which I will strongly recommend. (:
Sure it's flattering when a cute guy asks you out, but you know it will only lead to pain and confusion if he doesn't fit God's standards for manhood.
My friend said this to me: "There are many guys around you which are available. But you die die want this guy, means this guy."
But I guess I should rid my mind of all these thoughts. I'm gonna leave it to God entirely, wash my hands off it. If he's really the guy for me, God will make a way, He will. For His ways are higher than my ways.
"Everything begins with a S.M.I.L.E. (:" 

He can provide...

Inspiration's calling me on the bus!

Halfway through my bus ride, thought about some people, and this is how my blog title and blog post came about. (:

I realise that everybody has their own needs. Be it children or elderly, they all have at least one need emotionally.

Sometimes when I look at people and their occupations, I realise that the reason why they do certain things is because they have a need. But most of the time, their needs are satisfied through ways which are harmful or unpleasant to them. But they don't realise it. & it's not easy looking at yourself from a third party's perspective. Even if we know what are their needs, it's not easy to satisfy them. 1 or 2 is still manageable. But how about 20 or 50?

But we have a God, who can provide. Jesus can satisfy our needs through the healthy way.

"If you seek him, he will be found by you"- 1 Chronicles 28:9.

Lastly, I have a short story to share.

I happen to see or hear this story. It's about a small boy who was in a field, looking for flowers. He found a beautiful flower and picked it up. But he threw it away thinking that he will find a better one. He continued searching but he wasn't satisfied. So he threw away a lot of flowers. Until the time when he kept on searching and realise that all the beautiful flowers have been chosen by him but was rejected.

Moral of the story: Don't be tooooo greedy. =x

In life, we people tend to search for what we think is the best. But actually, we are tooooooo blinded by searching that we have missed out on the best thing for us.

For who You are.

This song came to my mind today. ((:

"My soul secure, Your promise sure, Your love endures ALWAYS."

Driving in the Dark.

This is the title for my Quiet Time with God from Our Daily Bread.
Basically, I was kinda emotional these few days...I needed to find an answer. And to find the answer, I have to seek God.

I prayed, but somehow don't have that impact in my life. Then until today. I prayed while I was on the bus to IMH. God touched my heart when I was reading His word from today's message from ODB.

The main points are: 

1. God doesn't show you the way. Instead, He wants you to trust in Him that He will bring you to your destination.
2. God will NEVER leave nor forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)
3. I won't stumble in the dark if I walk in the light of God's word.
4. He will fulfill the promises He has made! (: 

I just feel so touched by God. This is why they say God is always near. He is not someone who is so far anywhere that you can't seek help from.
Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. —Psalm 119:105 
Thank you God. (:

It's a J.O.Y serving God!

As usual, served in David Club today. FYI: David Club is a club for children who are 18 months - 4 yrs old. I serve in N3, the 3 yrs old.

As I've injured my ligament, I can only sit down on the chair and look at the children sing and dance.
Seriously, after serving for half a year, I'm loving children more and more I guess...(:
Children, are so innocent and they are so amazingly funny.
A girl who always carry a big smile on her face can cry for a long time just because she can't get to wear her melody jacket! Haha~!
Then there's this cute boy who always dig his nose was crying because he doesn't want the mother to leave him. So he cried and cried and cried. But when I took his temperature, he stopped crying. Finished taking his temp, he started crying again. Then asked him to pick a sticker, he stopped crying. Then picked alr, started crying again! Oh boy, isn't he cuteeeeeee~?
Lastly, there's this boy named Joseph. He also another funny guy. Cried. I talked to him for like a while, asked him to go and play with his friends. Then he started pinching his bottom, saying he wanna pee. So I brought him to wear his shoe. Asked him where are his shoes...he said Orange. Then in the end, his shoes are grayish green in colour. =.=" haha!
But he's pretty cute lahhhhh...keep looking at me haha...then I smiled at him. Then he came and find me for a few times when I was sitting on a chair. Don't rly know what he want. But yea, cute. (:
Anws, breaking for a month & imma back to serving God's children! (:

What am I feeling?

A letter to God.

God, I need your strength and your love to help me pull through every obstacles that are coming through my  way Lord. I'm tired of constantly living in fear. I need to change. I need You God. Amen.

I've know a lot...but it felt like I've known nothing at all.

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. = NOTHING.

An act of LOVE.

On the way home today, it was raining quite heavily, and the wind was rather strong. I was drenched again from half of my tee, to my legs.
Then I saw a maid totally drenched. She was pushing the grandma who was on a wheelchair, and the grandma was holding the umbrella. The maid was just pushing the grandma when the wind and the rain was like coming so strong, hitting her face...such an act of kindness. I don't think i'll be able to do that. If it's me, i'll ask the grandma to shield me from the rain, if not i'll take a cab. But that moment, I was shocked to see such an act. Should have taken it down on camera because a picture speaks a thousand words.
But yea, I wonder how many maids like this still exists.
Can't find a picture to describe this scene. =x

Give thanks! (:

Attended the volunteer service! Then Ps Khong was the one preaching. His message was "Tarry Until..."
Basically it was about preparing ourselves to wait for the Holy Spirit to come.
Hmmm, then Ps Khong prayed for the volunteers! Maybe there wasn't enough time so he only prayed for a few individuals...then he prayed for the whole group. He asked the Holy Spirit to come, then both me and florence could feel our bodies moving, like being pushed. But it's not that strong that you could fall on your back. But maybe it was. Then people were like crying bitterly. I guess it was a cool experience...really hope to experience more on Thursday & Friday. (:
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After serving in David Club, I was like super duper hungry. Didn't bring enough money so asked Flor to lend me. Then her mum came over with BREAD!!! Rosanne didn't want to eat so I took her share. At that point of time, REALLY THANK GOD!!!
"When you start to give thanks to God about small little things, like being able to wake up everyday, this is where you begin to learn to treasure & appreciate life. (:"

Friend in need is a friend indeed.

Trying to be a good friend.
Actions speak louder than words. True.
Just like in communications, Non Verbal communication occupies the most percentage in a pie chart.
I can be good at words, talking about how to be a good friend. But if I did 1 action which contradicts what I say, "GG" is the word I should say. If I'm rated a 75%, it'll drop down to 25% I guess?
But the thing is, sometimes I do get carried away and stuff, & due to some reasons, I will contradict myself. This is why I need God. To depend on Him, to help me to become a good friend. Being a human, I will definitely have flaws, and will not practice what I've said. But yea, still trying...with God's help.

Come Holy Spirit.

This is the theme for my church for 2011: "Come Holy Spirit."
Recently the thoughts that filled my mind was what had happened in the past. I guess if I don't put a stop to it, it's  going to get worse.
Been praying about it, God is trying to tell me to set my eyes on Him before anything else. But how do I go about doing that? =x
I guess I need to engage more in the Holy Spirit and in God's word.
Then when I've set my eyes on Him, I believe He will provide me with what I want, and He will show me who's the right person.
Anws, can't wait for the Sanctification week! & the SOL 1 to comecomecome! (:

Faith.

After the NYP open house, I went to the supermarket to get my daily necessities and some goods for CNY because my dear parents have put me in charge of it! =x

I bought like so many things...but not enough. I only have a pair of hands so can only buy 4 bags of stuff. So, shall continue tmr! (:

Carrying a lot of things, I cab-ed home. Then I srsly don't know what's wrong ehhh. The driver drive like normal speed, then slow, then super fast. Then when I gave him 7 bucks, he was supposed to return me 1.85. But he gave me 85 cents, and he threw the 4 bucks at me. Then the money dropped on the floor of car. Then I told him in a nice way, uncle, you gave me the wrong change. Then he took back the 4 bucks and gave me a dollar back. I mean what's wrong? I didn't do anything wrong what...why must he treat me in this way?!

Then when I took my things, my cup noodles fell out from the plastic bag. Alamak.

But I was rather surprised actually. Cos I still can talk to him in a pretty nice manner which is so not the past me. Woah. Not rly agitated.

& surprisingly, my spine is not that painful alr! Hehe~! Must be the prayers by my cell sis and Ps PL! (:

But to be safe, better not sit on the floor and sofa.

Countdown: 28 more days to CNY. 

31 more days to BB Torch.

37 more days to my thyroid checkup @ Mount Elizabeth.

A rubber band that's overstretched.

Sigh. Had a relapse of my old injury I guess. Then ytd did some exercises which actually aggravated my pain.
Basically the pain got worse like today but the pain was like on and off for these past few months. So, I was like walking around AMK with the company of Adeline to look for a clinic with female doctors cos I don't rly like male doctors. But there was like none apparently. So I went to this TCM clinic which has like all female doctors. So did Acupuncture. But the doctor spoke in Chinese. So I couldn't rly figure out what she was trying to say. A ligament tear or a ligament strain. Which one? =x
Anws, she say can swim but cannot do vigorous exercises. I wanna swim! But when I think of how long I have to walk and that I needa bathe, the pain just turn me off.
All I know is that I need to have a change in my daily activities which is like so sad? No sitting on sofa everyday when I wake up in the morning or get home. Then no playing with the children in David's Club cos I can't sit on the floor. No walking with my normal speed because it hurts. I act like an old woman basically. Gosh!
But maybe it is good for me? Walking slowly to appreciate things around me.
Lastly, always find the root cause of every problem and try to find a solution to that problem instead of dragging it. Just like taking antibiotics. Finish the whole course and never STOP taking it cause you think you're fine.

It's not that simple after all.

Sometimes not doing anything is the best thing after all.

I'm kinda sick and tired about the same thing happening over and over again.

I've see, seen, saw. But I always ask myself why this happen, why I didn't cherish the chance. Just keep on throwing myself questions which I don't even have an answer to.

Now, I guess I've got an answer.

T.I.M.E.

I'm should be blamed for what has happened actually. Sigh.

Anws, out of a sudden why must I start to do all this now? I guess what I need to do is a motive check. It shouldn't be too tough for me to do such a simple task. But the thing which makes this task difficult is that I have a motive. It's not that simple after all.

So I guess I should just stop trying. But wait until the time when I'm ready, and that with a magical touch from God, everything will just fall into place naturally.

Present Weakness and Resurrection Life

 ¹ Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. ² Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. ³ And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. ⁴ The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. ⁵ For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.⁶ For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”^[a] made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

 ⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

 ¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”^[b] Since we have that same spirit of^[c]faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵ All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

 ¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. -2 Corinthians 4. (NIV)

Watched Time Traveler's wife with you on that day. How nice would it be if I can travel back to 16th September. I will not make the same mistake again.

But I guess I should thank God. (:

Because I wasn't a Christian then but I am one now. Whatever happens in the future to the both of us, it's all part of His plan. A lesson for us. I really hope that when I see you, i'll be happy and not be sad thinking about all those flashbacks.

A chain of unresolved questions.

Would you dance with me tonight?

Internal Struggle.

I went through the past few struggles without having God by my side.
I'm really glad that I now have God to go through this struggle with me. (:
I am trying to put my past behind ME.
Must learn to BREAK the BARRIER! (:
Anws, today I learnt a valuable lesson!
I was affected by what someone say. It was like super duper peanuts man. But I didn't know why I was so affected by it. But I believe God wants me to seek Him?
Cos I prayed and asked God to heal me cos ytd God wants you to know said that everything that irritates you about others, is your key to understanding yourself. What angers you in another person is an unhealed aspect of yourself. If you had already resolved that particular issue, you would not be irritated by its reflection back to you, then suddenly this thought popped up into my mind.
"Everybody is good by nature. It's the devil that is tempting them and doing all those evil things because they are not strong spiritually."
I learnt that I have to treat everybody regardless of whether they are good or bad because they are all good by nature.
Going to pray, pray, pray to listen to what He has to say. (:
"He is my light, my strength."


Anws, I went to Ade's house then to watch The Tourist with Adeline, and we makan makan tgt after the movie! (:
This was how I spent my 8 hours break. =x
The Tourist is actually not bad bahh...will give it 3/5 stars. (:

Donning on a new self.

I don't really know why I put this as my title. But anws, today's sermon was by Ps MM. He said something about forgetting the past. I guess it's true. I've been letting my past affect me way too much.
In the FB app for God wants you to know, it has a lot of messages which I think can be applied to this situation.
1. It says breaking the barrier which is fear, thus, leading to a greater reward from God!
Fear is something which is pulling me back from doing what I've always wanted to do.
The more fear you have, the lesser faith you will have. Or rather, when you fear, you have no faith.
2. It says I learn what I do.
I avoid every time. So I learn how to avoid. & I actually become more and better in avoiding. =x *faints.*
Each time when I see you, I always wonder what is the reason why silence is the only thing between us.

Be Flexible.

Learnt a lesson ytd, the last day of the year 2010.
I learnt that I've gotta be flexible as a person.
Things can't always go the way I want it to. Then when it doesn't go the way I want it to be, I will become unhappy. That's for sure.
Many a times, I question myself. Why can't things turn out this way? Why can't she be like this?
Looking at so many people being able to do some things which I wanted to do with my friend as well, it just doesn't come true due to some reasons. But I know that I can't force things to happen. So i'm giving up the thought.
What happened ytd has really hurt me a lot, and I really wonder if there's any purpose in doing it. I almost gave up on something which I really loved most. But after praying to God and thinking about it, I guess I really shouldn't give up on doing something which I like very much just because of one person.
I can't force things to happen but I know I can change the things which makes me happy.
I can change my target of happiness!
Although I am sad because I can't make the thing happen but I know I can think of it from another perspective. Learn to give. The least I can do is to make myself happy by giving in. This way, I will not be unhappy because the thing can't happen but I can be happy because I can give.
Glory be to God. For without Him, I would still be living in anger and bitterness if this incident were to happen to me in the past!!